If I were King…
I’ve been meaning to start this post for about a month now. I was going to see if there were 12 things that I could think of during this year that I would implement if I were king that would make my world just a bit nicer. For me at least. For everyone else, tough!
January’s choice – Chewing gum would be illegal. I pretty much violently hate it. I can see no reason why it is still around. Rubber with a bit of mint in it? What a great product! Sticks to everything, including hair, shoes, seats and trousers etc. It leaves pavements absolutely disgusting too. And it’s just really, really charming watching (and often listening) to someone chew it. If you’re worried about cleaning your teeth, carry a toothbrush. It works for the rest of us.
For February – All food cans would the the stacking kind. They just make life so much simpler, easier, and I think safer too (at least when the cans are stored at above head height like in our kitchen). Nowadays they can’t be that much harder to produce, or much more expensive by the thousand, so I can’t see any reason why they can’t be the new mandated standard. “Health and Safety” seem to get blamed for all sorts of weird things here, so why don’t they do something useful and sort this out for me?
March – Leggings Permit. I think anyone wishing to wear leggings as their sole bottom half covering should have to be in possession of a permit signed by five of their closest and most honest friends at all times. The permit would state that the friend has seen said wearee in the leggings, and they are not making a fool of themselves, or likely to cause others to feel the need to either vomit or gouge their eyes out. Said friend would also have to state that they would be more than happy to spend a whole day out in public with the wearee (who would be wearing said leggings). Failure to carry this permit would result in compulsory re-clothing into a prisoner type baggy orange jumpsuit. And mandatory attendance at a lesson on how to find more honest friends.
(Note: Just be very, very very happy there is no photograph to accompany the above item to show what made it March’s choice!…)
Now, I wonder what the target for April will be….